Friday, Jan. 02, 2004 || 12:23 a.m.

Ok, my new paper diary hasn't begun yet...

In all the talk of terrorist attacks and the adventures of New Years, the thoughts of change hadn't crossed my mind. I was very happy to see 2003 end, but I feel that 2004 will be the same. I thought I would feel different about my life now. Things have changed, but I'm not sure if I have changed with it. I need a jump-start that will last. Maybe some sort of drug or alcohol addiction that will give me false feelings happiness, or maybe a new social role like being a striper or rich girl. Although, I guess I would have to be a striper to have some money to being a rich girl. OH, I could have my own reality show where my life would be edited down to only the exciting or stupid moments. Than everyone could falsy idolize me and I could vanish off the face of the earth with the satisfaction of knowing I had fooled everyone. Hmm, look at that. I have set some goals for myself. At least it will give me something differnt to think about.

luv, steph

Before || After