Tuesday, May. 20, 2003 || 9:05 p.m.

Ok, so I'm not alright anymore. I was doing so well until I finished my final today. It doesn't have anything to do with finals. It has to do with change. I was thinking earlier today of how everything I own is in three different places now. My mom's house, my dorm, and my new apartment. I have been focusing so much on finals and work that I forgot what I was doing. I have packed up most of my room and just now I'm realizing that it is empty. I was happy yesterday. I was excited about this summer and moving into my first apartment. Now I'm having a severe panic attack. I'm afraid of going home and feeling bored. Then once I get comfortable again, I have to leave. It is hard to keep shifting in and out of places. I thought I liked it, but today I don't. I'm debating whether or not to take some of my codiene and sleep until my next final in the morning. I'm wondering if codiene causes some memory loss. I'm wondering if I can even fall asleep. This room is so empty. I have to go home on Friday and I just want to stay in bed for a week.

luv, steph

Before || After