Thursday, Apr. 03, 2003 || 11:28 a.m.

This week has been really hard. Just mentally hard. It feels like my body is giving up on college.

I'm ditching class right now because I can't sit in those hard wood chairs for another hour an a half. I think my tail bone is turning into mush.

I'm going back home with my roomie this weekend. I love meeting my friend's parents and hanging out in their home town. It makes me feel like I'm more educated about the world.

My pants are falling apart and that makes me really sad. I've had these pants for years now and I don't think I have the strength to give them away. I know it is pathetic to get attached to materal objects, but god damn it, these are great pants! I think I will wait until the foo-foo part rips. Then they would just be embarassing to wear.

One of my friends decided she wasn't going to get an apartment with us. Now it is just the three of us which will be fine. It is funny. I remember when I was in junior high and high school and I would be cleaning my room or going through things and playing good 90s music. I remember just thinking about what it would be like to have my own apartment and what I would put in it. I can remember those lazy weekend afternoons in my room, the feeling of the late sun light entering my room, and the music that I played. I would get completely lost in my thoughts and get carried away with my ideas. I always knew, even then, that I would end up living in a city and growing independent here. When I get an apartment, I know that the younger part of me, that still lives in the 90s, is going to feel like it is living again. This sounds so cheesy, but everytime I think of it, it places me back to that time in my life. It is almost like when I get an apartment, I will be going forward and backwards in my life at the sametime. Ok, I'm getting carried away with lost thoughts. Most of the time I can't remember anything, but odd things will usually provoke something inside of me to relive an old memory.

I must eat a cinammon roll now because I have been craving it since 11. I heart pastries.

luv, steph

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