Monday, Mar. 31, 2003 || 7:46 p.m.

This weekend was beautiful. I probably should have written about it when I was in a good mood, but that has pasted.

It was really warm this weekend so I layed outside and pretended to do my homework. I got a little burned, but that is just me. On Saturday night, I went to a bar/club on Mission. It was for a benefit and I soon realized my friend and I were the youngest people in there. We also suck out cause we weren't yuppies. I guess we discovered where all the 30 somethings prefer to hang out. But it was fun and my id worked and I got to drink many lovely drinks. I want to do that more. I want to go to fun hole-in-the-wall places in the city and observe the mating rituals that is socializing. This means that I must save my money.

Today was OK. I can't really gather my thoughts right now. I guess I'm just disappointed in things. I'm disappointed in the work I'm doing and worried about the future. I'm also disappointed in a friend. There is only so much I have control over, but that is what gets to me. Most of the time I feel like giving up controling my life and leaving it all to karma or something. But, things are just random events anyway so I don't know why I believe I have control over anything. That's pretty much how I'm feeling right now, like nothing. I don't even feel like trying. I just want to act how I feel. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

luv, steph

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