Thursday, Jan. 30, 2003 || 10:07 p.m.

Back (for 6 days now)...

This is the view from my window. A selected view. My huge window views the city from as wide as the eyes can see. I remembered why I came here when I walked back into my room. I'm so lucky.

I wrote this at the airport on Saturday...

It is refreshing almost to have his long reflection period. It reminds you of what you miss and what you have at home. A lot of people don't have two places they can call home. It's a struggle sometimes, but it is also be amazing. I'm sitting here by the window in the airport wondering if airplanes are symbolic. Maybe their wings signify the different directions life can take you or their power and left can symbolize the power of life. Oh my god, I'm so bored and this lame game is making me look sad. At least it is passing the time and it is easier to want something to symbolize something so life can make more sense. It's a comfort game.

I've noticed that I like to play good music on my portable MP3 player and have a good daydream about dancing and doing amazing things with my life. I then have these thoughts and watch everyone else go about their normal lives. It is a tatic that's supposed to build my self-esteem, but then I just feel guilty if I think I'm caught

Last Friday night, I got the best pick up line. He asked me, "Are you gay?" Figures since I was at a mostly gay club and was with my gay friends. You think someone would think of a more charming way to get a straight girl's attention. It was a funny moment and, needless to say, I mostly laughed at him and focused my attention on the fabulous drag queen entertainers.

My classes are going to be a challenge this semester, but I'm not going to let them get to me like they did last semester. I want to pick out an interesting place from my window and visit it. It seems like a good adventure.

luv, steph

Before || After