Friday, Dec. 06, 2002 || 4:50 p.m.

Things I want (an xmas list full of wishful thinking):

- a pause (actually one of things I know I will be getting in a week when my life goes from finishing papers, books, and doing finals to nothing for five straight weeks. Wes and Andrea: save me!)

- to knit.

- to read the hundreds of books I want to read.

- a "Sex Instructor, Free Lessons" t-shirt. A guy at work was wearing one when I was helping him find something and it was so difficult to act serious the whole time. Everyone should wear a shirt like that so life is ever taken too seriously.

- an apartment in San Fran.

- a trip to London in June.

- to see a live taping of "The Gram Norton Show" and, on that same note, watch "Gram Norton in Dollywood".

- to play with puppies and dress them up in emo sweaters.

- to go to Mt. Charlestion with the gang and get another concussion.

- to get good grades.

- to have a delightful gay couple has my neighbors and throw dinner parties with them all the live long day.

- to never hear of Eminem again (::in the tone of "I'm Sorry Mama": "I'm sorry Eminem, I never meant to bust a cap in you...").

- to have a Foriegn Film night and watch "Monsoon Wedding" again and again!

- to go to the Strip for New Year's Eve with vodka, no purse, and the "twins" instead of cash.

- to be able to sing on the elevator and not have it be socially denied.

- to be a better recycler.

- to have the hot man I am staring at right now between my thighs. Damn it! He is gay, he is so hitting on my boss. Of course he is gay. I'm attracted to gay men like I'm attracted to pie filling. It never fails.

- to have my sister win her bet so she can get free drinks and go on a cruise to Mexico. I bet $10 that she hooks up with someone on the cruise! Who is with me?

- for it to rain. Oh, it is raining! Oh, the powerful gods of Diaryland do exist!

- to have long hair.

- to sleep and feel rested.

- to stop having servely fucked up dreams like killing children in an elevator accident because I landed on all of them as it fell. I really don't know how to explain that one.

- to eat a "Crispy Chicken Salad" from Chili's.

- to stop feeling anxiety about things I can't control.

- to have a dance party!

- to build a fort and regress back to my underdeveloped childhood.

- to finish the painting I have been working on for years.

- to bake and make a mess.

- to be able to sing and be in a fierce, rule-breaking, independent yet popular rock band from England. I would be able to wet everyone's shorts with just one sound from my guitar. God, it is everyone's dream!

- to get some serious ass. I couldn't be more serious about this one. It has been since April people. Come on!

It is good to know that I have wishes and goals. It reminds me of where I am in life.

luv, steph

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