Thursday, Nov. 21, 2002 || 7:12 p.m.

Tomorrow I go to the "Lighting Ceremony" downtown. I am hoping it will get me in the holiday mood. I am also going cause it is free entertainment. I love watching people fall down when they are ice skating! Haha!

I am creating plans in my mind about my wants for next semester. I think the classes I am taking will determine if I should lean more towards psychology, media, or just mix both of them. Who knows if I can even decide. I say that I am just going to study what I find most interesting and what I love. Most people don't use their exact degrees anyway. Might as well enjoy college. Haha, I should write a motivation book.

Oh sweet fucking christ!! They are blasting "Up Town Girl" by Billy Joel in the hallway!!! Sweet christ chex, why??? AHH, they are dancing too!! Of all unholy songs that ever existed, why that song??

::shutting door and stuffing towel under it::

Where was I? Oh yeah, my life...

I don't know how I feel about going home for 5 weeks. I was kind of excited about it and now I am worried. I went to watch a film and listen to the director talk about it afterwards and he talked about how you can never go home. Once you leave and experience another city or culture, you can never go back home and have it be the same feeling. This is something I know, but hearing someone else say it just clarifies my thoughts. Going home is more like a feeling, not a place. Those feelings are based around memories and things that are similiar to what home was to you when you left it without the knowledge of a different place. It is something most people struggle to deal with their whole life because, really, where is your home? Where can you live and call it home? I love where I am, but at the sametime I feel displaced. I would't change it for anything.

In a week I will be going through hell. I just wish I could fast forward through Thanksgiving. I wish it didn't exist. I want some pie or cake.

I'm in love with Tori Amos' song, "Taxi Ride".

Ahhh, Marge got me hooked. I owe her a cake.

"Lily is dancing on the table,

We've all been pushed too far today,

Even a glamorous bitch can be in need"

luv, steph

Before || After