Sunday, Nov. 17, 2002 || 10:46 a.m.

My internet has been down for the past few days. Something happened with my dad and I wanted to write on this diary so bad, but I had to settle for paper because I didn't have access here. Paper! It worked out better though. I wrote down angry thoughts and it felt good to get it out. When I looked at it the next day, I just ripped it up and threw it away. That felt even better. I don't want him to make me feel like that. If it was on here, then I would have to remember it again. That isn't necessary.

I don't know what is going to happen on Thanksgiving, but I do know it is going to be uncomfortable. I have too many things to do. It feels like it will never end and when it does end, I will have nothing to do. I don't handle being bored very well.

I have already begun shopping for xmas gifts on ebay. I didn't find anything yet. People are really hard to shop for. Ebay is my ulimate distraction.

I feel drained. I have focused so much energy on school that I don't have energy for anything else. I have a feeling I am going to break loose when I get home. 5 weeks of no commitments. At the sametime, it scares me. Oh well, the new puppy will have to occupy my time. Entertain me damnit! I have to clean my room now. I am having guests over to write a paper. We are doing an experiment on the audience's reaction to TV dating shows. Fun, eh? I have an addiction to Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" now. "Hold me closer tiny dancer..."

luv, steph

Before || After