2002-08-12 || 3:57 p.m.

Do you ever feel like you are in a hole? I can't figure out how I got here. Did I fall? Did I slip? Did someone else put me here? I can't feel anything in here. I don't feel depressed...I feel bored. Bored of feeling like this. I also feel tired. I want to curl up in ball and just have my own thoughts run through my head all day. Escape to Fantasy Island. There I can have feelings I want to feel.

Do you ever wonder what other feelings feel like? Where you will be in your life when you have those feelings? How will you react to them? What is this feeling I am feeling now? Wonder? What kind of feeling is that?

I thought I needed a change, but I am getting one in less then a week. I don't feel anything about that either. I am just floating along. How is this anyway to live? I think I expect too much out of life.

Maybe I am depressed. I think I just self-diagnosed myself using online diary therapy. Hmm. I still feel the same.

luv, steph

Before || After